porn and anti-purity culture

hi this ones kind of heavy and even a bit NSFW so i dont blame you if you don't read it

so one thing to know about me im totally against purity culture, i mean do what you want in the bedroom not my business but sometimes kinkshaming is in order sometimes, but kink shaming isnt really the same as the frigid patriarchic views of purity culture where all blame is put on women for being 'promiscuous'.

im anti purity culture, but im anti anti-purity culture.

i dont know if its a real term thats used but basically anti-purity culture is this misogynistic view that if a woman isn't into weird and potentially dangerous shit then shes a prude. I think i really came to realize this was in issue when there was this trend on the hellsite known as tiktok of women putting down their husbands/boyfriends ex partners becuase they werent 'as freaky' or willing to do whatever the guy wanted in bed.

at first i thought nothing of it but 'gross i dont wanna hear about some middle aged ladys sex life' and as the trend kept popping up more and more it started to fucking REEK of internalized misogyny and (i hate to use this phrase but) pick-me energy.

why was another woman setting clear and strict boundaries seen as a bad thing?

then i started to remember how much CNC has been becoming more and more normalized. my thoughts on CNC are a bit nuanced and i dont feel like getting into the details of it publically but bottom line is, its offputting to me.

the normalization of such a harmful kink is kind of worrying when you think of it. in a lot of cases of acts of sexual violence against children the assailant had admitted to consuming explicit material of children, whos to say porn involving things such as violence against women wouldnt lead to actual acts of violence against women.

and i know, in practice kink is discussed beforehand, consent is given, and boundaries are set, but to me, i generally look down on the person acting as the assailant especially if theyre the one who suggested the act.

a lot of times, it's just assumed that women are into shit like that and if they arent theyre called a prude.

why is being "vanilla" seen as something thats boring? a woman not wanting to be degraded and or basically abused during sex is??? boring??

i feel like porn and its constant horrific depictions of sexual violence against women is to blame tbh. ive really gotta wonder if people who watch or partake stuff like that get post nut clarity,, like,, you just got off to a chick crying and saying "stop stop it hurts please" and yeahyeah its roleplay and everyones (hopefully) given consent but??? do you feel bad after??? id really hopeso cause if not thats a bit firghtening

i dunno its just something i think about from time to time, do what you want im not the boss of anyone plus, in the wise words of twitter proshippers, i am but a minor, i know nothing of the world